Living Amid the Myths

Mat's gone.

He went out for a ride and didn't come back and didn't contact me or anything, so I went to the Hall and he's really, really gone. I guess the horse went with him because she didn't come back either.

I... I don't know what to do. All my house is memories of Mat and Tony. Part of me wants to go away and leave it and never come back again and another part wants never to leave it even for a minute because maybe there they'll stay more real.

Who will hold me when I sleep at night and make me feel safe and tell me I'm special? I loved Mat so very very much, more than I ever dared tell him.

I feel... I feel very small and lost.

I went to see Jack yesterday at the restaurant but he had gone. He must have had some warning because he'd left me a note and food boxed up for me and a great deal of money. He said it was for me and my house.

Logan? With Tony gone, too, I hoped maybe you'd know how much money I still owed people for my house. Tony said he'd keep track of it all, but I thought maybe you'd know. I have bunches and bunches of it from Jack and I want to pay for everything I can with it.

I'm not as sad as I was the other day, but I don't like all the fighting at that new place. It scares me a lot.

Maybe I should find someone else to teach me some self-defense if all this craziness is going to go on. Mr. Winchester was going to do that in exchange for me cooking for him sometimes. Anyone else who might be willing to do that?