Living Amid the Myths

I don't even need this curse to be happy or say why I'm happy.

I'm happy that I have such good friends like Mat and Tony and Abby and Chuck and Shin and Ianto and Barnabas and, oh, I can't even list them all!

And I'm so happy that my friends made me my beautiful house last year so I can be inside and still feel safe and I can lie on my bed and watch the stars or the wind blowing through the trees or the storms!

And I'm happy to be able to have the river and the forest and the trees and that I feel comfortable and safe there and I'm happy I get to work at the Library with all the BOOKS and that the Library likes me.

And that people like me here and I'm safe.

And so, so many other things!

ETA: And 'Mana! How could I forget to put in her? And our horse! See! I knew I'd forget all sorts of things and people, but they all make me happy even if I forget to put them here!

I am not sleeping. I don't care. I don't... the dreams...

They're too frightening.

If anyone wants to come and Not Sleep with me, they can. We can help keep each other awake.

I'm glad I did not turn into a boy yesterday. I don't think I would have liked it very much at all. I was torn between laughing and feeling so sorry for people on the Network yesterday. I hope everyone is back to themselves and feeling better.

I know I'm happy. I have two wonderful jobs and wonderful friends and a wonderful housemate and the most ever wonderful home I could ever imagine. I've been here almost eight months and they've been the best eight months that I think I've had since my mother... well, since then.

If I was in a myth or a legend, there would have been a prophecy. You know, like 'In the middle of her 22nd year the chosen one will live in a place of true myths, inside a hill, a place where gods still walk the streets, and there she will...' whatever great thing it is the chosen one is supposed to accomplish.

But I don't think I have much to accomplish.

Though there are some questions I would like to have answers to.

Today is a very happy day for me! It's so happy I don't even know where to start!

The sun is shining and the clouds are beautiful - I could lie on my bed all day and just watch them! - and my friends are back and one friend is coming here and I have a bunny and a deer and oh, just everything!

I wish for everyone to be as happy as I am!

Thanksgiving was always kind of the best holiday. The soup kitchens had the best food then and the store owners would sometimes sneak the kids a little something and people were a little nicer - you could sometimes even get someone to let you sleep in a warmish warehouse that weekend. For nothing, even.

Long as you were smart enough to be gone before things started up again that Monday.

Christmas was never so good because everyone was too busy with their own things and they'd already spent tons of money. And 'cause Dad always started drinking mid-December and usually ended up locked up somewhere off and on which meant I couldn't even try and stay at a shelter. Too many questions and it wasn't safe to be little and there alone.

No matter where we ended up though, there were always a handful of kids in the same boat. And you know, for a price you could usually get somebody to look the other way so you all could be a little bit out of the cold. Luckily, Dad never really went anywhere that was super cold. Snow... that would have been really bad.

But Thanksgiving... Thanksgiving could be pretty good.

I'm feeling really pretty foolish today, but, judging from the other things I saw, at least I wasn't the only one and I was luckier than some people.

Abby, thank you for taking such good care of me. And please forget everything I said about - well, about practically everything.


Mr. Stark, I'm really sorry I didn't show up to work yesterday. I know it was supposed to be my first day and all, but I... really wasn't myself. I'm at the library right now, but if you still want me I can come today.


Anybody else, well, I'm kind of gonna be working in the most out-of-the-way places I can in the library.


And is it really true that Ianto's gone? He was so nice to me. I'm gonna really, really miss him, if it's true.