livingmyths | 087: Better

Entry tags:

087: Better

It's good to be back at work. I think the Library missed me. I felt like it sort of followed me around all day, which I know sounds silly, but everytime I turned around something it knew I would like was right there.

I'm up here on the roof now, enjoying the air and the freedom and the not being afraid.

Everything seems so much more clear. It's kind of interesting.

Thomas...? I'm so sorry. I know I said I wouldn't with anyone else so we could see what happened, but I thought it was - by the time I realized... I... it was too late. I didn't mean to.

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I'm very happy to hear you're feeling better, Rain. Do you mean your mind and memories are more clear?

Yes and my hearing and Not Listening.

I'm relieved you were able to salvage something out of that mess.

What's wrong with Thomas?

Yes. Thank you.

I... I told him I wouldn't have sex with anyone but him so we could see what happened, but then, well... I thought it was him, but it wasn't and by the time I knew... there was nothing I could do.

I should be thanking you, Rain. You helped me learn some things about myself I may not have learned had I not known you.

I...hmmm. What do you mean you thought it was him, were you cursed?

Really? Like what?

No. He was.

That I'm not nearly as good as I think I am sometimes. That I've come to care for certain people here much more that I though I would.

He...was someone in his body? Is that what happened?

Like Tony, I hope.

Yes. He was another him. A not so nice him.

Yes, Tony, and you, too, Rain. I was very worried about you.

An alternate version of himself instead of a separate entity? Like Tony was this last weekend?

Oh! Really?

I... I didn't see Tony this weekend. Thomas was... himself, but his demon was kind of in charge. He liked it.

Yes, really.

...I imagine Thomas will feel quite like he took advantage of you, then. I understand he tries to keep that part of himself in check. The curses...people understand, Rain.

Oh. That's really nice to know.

He... I don't always understand him. He confuses me sometimes.

I imagine that you confuse him sometimes as well, but then everyone's confusing at different times. It's whether or not you're both willing to make the effort to work past that. To learn enough about each other that the confusion goes away.

I don't know. I guess we'll see.

Do let me know if there's anything I can do for you. I want you to know I'm here for you.

I don't know if there is. I don't know what to do myself.

Romana... he... he talked about me as if, well, as if he'd think about me being his girlfriend. Nobody ever thought of me like that before. Not ever. Even if he changes his mind, that's still... unbelieveable.

Rain, you're worthy of love, and if you can find that with Thomas...

Love? I... no... I don't think - I don't think that's what he meant.

I think he cares for you a great deal, Rain. Maybe in time it could be more?

I don't know.

That's... really really scary to think about.

It is, isn't it?

Yes. I...

I don't think it will - anyone ever really would -

Not with me.

Especially not someone like him.

Why not with someone like him? What is it about him that makes you think you're not for him?

He's... wonderful. Handsome and smart and kind and just... everything.

And you're kind, generous, and honest.

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And Rain overshares as usual

Romana, oddly enough, is getting used to this

Well, it is typical Rain

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