livingmyths: (Beautiful pensive side)
livingmyths ([personal profile] livingmyths) wrote2009-05-04 06:24 pm

087: Better

It's good to be back at work. I think the Library missed me. I felt like it sort of followed me around all day, which I know sounds silly, but everytime I turned around something it knew I would like was right there.

I'm up here on the roof now, enjoying the air and the freedom and the not being afraid.

Everything seems so much more clear. It's kind of interesting.

Thomas...? I'm so sorry. I know I said I wouldn't with anyone else so we could see what happened, but I thought it was - by the time I realized... I... it was too late. I didn't mean to.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
I hope I can be glad for you, too, Rain.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
I... I don't know.

He says it's not fair to me, so... Maybe not.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
What isn't fair to you?

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
That he wants me just to be with him, but he'd have to have sex with other people so he didn't hurt me.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
Does that...is that a problem for you?

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think so. No. Why would it be?

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
Some species, particularly humans of Thomas' era, believe that those in relationships should have sex only with the people they're in the relationship with. To do otherwise would be...dishonest? Hmmm, perhaps inappropriate would be a better word.

Or perhaps he thinks that his sleeping with other people would be unfair to you because he should have to hold himself to the same standard he's asking you to?

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 11:58 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. Maybe.

Is it unfair? If there's a good reason?

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:16 pm (UTC)(link)
That's not something I can answer for you, Rain. It matters what you and he feel.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:24 pm (UTC)(link)
It's all so confusing.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
It is, but if you work it out, it's worth it. If I've learned anything I've learned that.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I told him I'd probably just mess everything up, 'cause I don't understand or know how to do anything.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:41 pm (UTC)(link)
...I was afraid of the same thing. I was afraid that I didn't know what I was doing that I'd do something wrong and it was hard to get past that.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 03:53 pm (UTC)(link)
But you're so smart, Romana. And you know so much!

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 04:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I know science, and mechanics, and what most people term book-learning. My practical experience, especially in matters of relationships, was almost non-existent.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 05:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow. I never would have guessed. You always seem so confident.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Many people who seem confident on the outside are not necessarily so on the inside.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Huh... I hadn't thought about that. Maybe 'cause I'm always so not confident that all I think about is me.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 07:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Appearances are often very important to people. You wouldn't even notice unless you were very close to them.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
Unless I could hear them, right?

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 03:14 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, unless you could hear them.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 11:51 am (UTC)(link)
Life is even more confusing than I thought.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 03:19 pm (UTC)(link)
The Doctor would undoubtedly say that's part of it's charm. But you learn to adapt.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know how good I am at that.

Though... with all the moving around... maybe I'm better than I think.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-06 08:17 pm (UTC)(link)
I think you are, too. You just need to believe in yourself a little.