livingmyths | 059: Thoughtful

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059: Thoughtful

I'm glad I did not turn into a boy yesterday. I don't think I would have liked it very much at all. I was torn between laughing and feeling so sorry for people on the Network yesterday. I hope everyone is back to themselves and feeling better.

I know I'm happy. I have two wonderful jobs and wonderful friends and a wonderful housemate and the most ever wonderful home I could ever imagine. I've been here almost eight months and they've been the best eight months that I think I've had since my mother... well, since then.

If I was in a myth or a legend, there would have been a prophecy. You know, like 'In the middle of her 22nd year the chosen one will live in a place of true myths, inside a hill, a place where gods still walk the streets, and there she will...' whatever great thing it is the chosen one is supposed to accomplish.

But I don't think I have much to accomplish.

Though there are some questions I would like to have answers to.

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He just needed to be in the right place, with the right person. It's funny how that can help healing.

~~On every level.~~

He says he likes being here. That it reminds him of home.

You think that helped him heal? I hope so.

Oh, I know being there's helped. Think about it. If he was on his own, he'd have been pushing it and pushing it and not getting any rest or care. Bulling your way through something is one thing, but when a body's broken, it needs attention and rest too. He wasn't going to give himself either.

But you did. You gave him both.

I tried very hard to.

He... he means a very great deal to me.

So it all worked out well. No matter what anyone else thinks about it, you know it worked out the way it was supposed to.

It did, didn't it?

I am trying not to worry about what anyone else might think and just do what my heart says is good.

Hearts know what they're doing. I think it's only when we second-guess them that we get into a lot of trouble.

Maybe you're right.

Do you second guess your heart?

...I used to do it a lot more than I do now.

It's not like I can control it anyway.

I suppose not.

I haven't done so well with controlling mine either. Even though I really should.

Rain, I don't think anyone can.

But... what if it's not good and you can't ever ever tell anyone?

You mean if your heart's not good? I think if that's the case, you probably don't care enough to want or need to tell anyone. I don't know.

No, not my heart.

My... what it wants. It can't have it. And I shouldn't even ever think about it.

Sounds like you just told someone.

Or at least just hinted about it.

Sort of, I guess.

Here's the deal. You're a good person, so no matter what your heart wants -- even if you think it's bad -- it probably isn't. Sometimes just confiding it makes things better. You know that expression getting it off your chest? That's what it means. So if you ever want to confide in someone, I can promise it'll stay with me and never go anywhere else. And if you don't? Guess what? We'll still be friends, no matter what.

Gren?

Rain?

I think you're really really wonderful and I'm so happy we met.

And I'm so glad you're my friend.

My heart... it really really likes someone who's totally in love with someone else. So I've told it that it just has to be happy with other things.

Hearts learn over time. They do.

And I'm so glad you're my friend, too.

You're really special to me, too.

If there's anything you ever need...

I know who to ask. Thanks.

You're welcome!

Take care, Rain.

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livingmyths.livejournal.com - 2009-01-17 21:43 (UTC) - Expand

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