livingmyths: (Beautiful pensive side)
livingmyths ([personal profile] livingmyths) wrote2009-05-04 06:24 pm

087: Better

It's good to be back at work. I think the Library missed me. I felt like it sort of followed me around all day, which I know sounds silly, but everytime I turned around something it knew I would like was right there.

I'm up here on the roof now, enjoying the air and the freedom and the not being afraid.

Everything seems so much more clear. It's kind of interesting.

Thomas...? I'm so sorry. I know I said I wouldn't with anyone else so we could see what happened, but I thought it was - by the time I realized... I... it was too late. I didn't mean to.

[identity profile] phasedcat.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
That's true, but also it makes you stronger to face bad things.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
Rain, you're worthy of love, and if you can find that with Thomas...

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
I guess that makes sense.

And I know you are.

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
If you look at them and don't just hide them away and pretend they aren't real.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
Love? I... no... I don't think - I don't think that's what he meant.

[identity profile] phasedcat.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:00 am (UTC)(link)
That's how you have to do it, eventually a person has to face the bad things. I'd love to be able to hide from them forever though.

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:01 am (UTC)(link)
Me too.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
I think he cares for you a great deal, Rain. Maybe in time it could be more?

[identity profile] phasedcat.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
It's too bad life can't just be happy isn't it? I mean there are happy times of course but I wish there were more of those to balance out the sad ones.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know.

That's... really really scary to think about.

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
That would be nice.

But I've been happier here than I've ever been.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
It is, isn't it?

[identity profile] phasedcat.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
That's good! At least this place is good for something. You deserve some happiness.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
Yes. I...

I don't think it will - anyone ever really would -

Not with me.

Especially not someone like him.

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
You think so?

I don't know about deserve, but I like it.

[identity profile] phasedcat.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
Of course you do. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
Well, I think everyone deserves to be happy, so in that sense...

But I'm not anything special, Kitty. I'm just me.

[identity profile] phasedcat.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
Not everyone does, everyone deserves the chance though.

The fact that you're you makes you special.

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
Doesn't that make everyone special?

[identity profile] phasedcat.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
If you looked at it from a literal standpoint then yes, but what I meant was the fact that your you and have your personality makes you special. You're honest, you care about people, you're kind to people, and that makes you a good person. That's special.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
Why not with someone like him? What is it about him that makes you think you're not for him?

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
He's... wonderful. Handsome and smart and kind and just... everything.

[identity profile] livingmyths.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks, Kitty.

Re: [Private to Rain//Unhackable]

[identity profile] lady-wandering.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
And you're kind, generous, and honest.

[identity profile] phasedcat.livejournal.com 2009-05-05 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
You're welcome Rain.

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